Hey peeps! It’s been a beautiful summer for me here where i am and i’ve caught up with a lot of things personally that i felt like i could share with you all.
First thing, I’ve decided to take better care of my body. Eat healthier foods, more veggies and fruits, less fatty things like pizza or Taco Bell (but all in moderation because i love both of those things). I’ve also been hitting the gym about 3 times a week for the past 2 months and a half and honestly i haven’t felt this good physically since probably high school when i was on the track team. Like, i can walk up 2-3 flights of stairs without getting out of breath? That’s a win in my book.
Another thing i’ve been doing a lot too is reading. I took a bit of a hiatus on books since the end of last year i started reading the Harry Potter series for the FIRST TIME (yeah i know, at 22 years old i’m very late on this trend) and i knocked out the first 3 books in about a month and a half. SO i guess you can say i burned myself out by reading so quickly. SO i picked up the 4th book about a few months ago and quickly finished that one and now im on the 5th book of the series and now it all makes sense as to why people always told me the books are much better than the movies. Because it’s true, they totally are. I used to read so much back in high school but since i started college 4 years ago it’s been hard for me to balance the readings for my classes and leisure reading. But i’ve gotten into a good pace with both at the moment so i’ve been enjoying that.
Now on to the main subject of this post; art.
A lot of you probably don’t know this about me but i love to draw. I can’t remember a time where i haven’t picked up a pencil and paper and just started to doodle. I’m my worst critic so i don’t think i’m that great but my friends and peers seem to think i’m very good at the work i do. Anyways, this isn’t the point, the point is, i actually haven’t drawn anything for….god, i don’t know. A long time. I’m going to say….nearly a year i was unable to draw something that made me happy and proud to have put on paper. I was on a serious artist block and rut. I felt almost embarrassed at my work because i would always look at it and think “it can be better”. And it’s true, it could be better, but anything in this world can be better. Nothing in life is perfect.
But you see, i’m very much a perfectionist and for something to be worthy of staying in my plethora of sketchbooks, it needs to be perfect. However after reevaluating what it meant for me to be, i guess you can say an artist, i decided i needed to push through that negativity of mine and push through that perfectionist mentality that i’ve always had about my art and just….do it. Like, for fucks sake, i had to just pick up that pencil and not stop until something filled the page. No matter if it was a beautiful portrait of a character i had concocted or if it were just a bunch of smaller doodles of little animals, mini characters, or objects. I just had to let go of everything to just let all this creativity spill out of me.
And as of 3 weeks ago, i did just that. I let everything that was bottled up inside me just leak out of every being in my hand and onto that paper. I picked up a new medium to create with and realized after 22 years (more like 18 since infants cant really draw haha) that i never had a medium that was mine. You know what i mean? Like there are people who are good at charcoal sketches, acrylic paintings, oil paintings, inking, all that kind of stuff. Although i have tried my hand on almost every single one of those mediums, i never felt good about any of them. That is, up until i picked up watercolors.
With watercolors i feel like every stroke i take, every blend i create, it all feels very natural. Although i try and dictate with my brush where to make certain colors appear and blend together, sometimes the water on the page takes the ink as if it has a mind of its own and i think that’s where i like watercolors the most. It takes some of the pressure that i have of trying to make something perfect, off of me and rely solely on how the water and paint behave. Water-coloring literally makes me be less of a perfectionist which is something that I’ve been trying to work on lately. So when i finish a piece and i look down at the the way the paint has moved when i brushed it a certain way and it moved a different way, it makes me feel….good. I feel happy with how it comes out because in a weird way, the not knowing if a blend will be exact or if a stroke will create a texture you want, makes me realize that sometimes things can be “perfect” by being “imperfect”. I don’t know man. This all got too deep for being art. But that’s just it i guess. Art is deep *insert shrug emoji*
I think what i’ve been trying to say this whole time is, if you’re an artist of any shape, way, or form, take a step back for a minute from your work and think about how you want to feel by the end of it. Realize that making a mistake is normal and that not every piece of art you produce will be worthy of showing off. Sometimes art is just about making it for you and you only. No one is forcing you to show off that piece of art you make. But if you do feel compelled to share it with the world, don’t feel embarrassed because maybe something went wonky in the process or maybe the way the lips, nose, or eyes look make the picture look lopsided.
It doesn’t really matter.
Feel proud of what you made because honey, that came out of YOU. You did that. You really did. And i think that’s what counts the most. It doesn’t matter if you’re a painter, sketcher, writer, make-up artist, dancer, whatever type of art you do, make, or perform, embrace it! Let every piece of creativity burst out of that beautiful mind of yours.